Depression Survivor: A Letter to Anton’s Mother

You Can Beat Depression
 
Carla Gomez-Pryor is the cousin of Anton’s mother, Cherry.  With her permission, we are publishing her post on the Facebook group: Survivors of Suicide Philippines with the intention of giving others an insight into the trials and pain a person with Depression goes through.  We also wish to give those living with Depression hope that you CAN BEAT DEPRESSION.
Image Source:  Public Domain

 

My dearest cousin, Cherry,

My heart has been heavy for the loss of your son. I cannot fathom the pain you have been through but I wanted to share this with you and your family.

In 1997, the year my papa passed, I was a victim of severe depression. Anxiety and stress. I was also going through divorce from an ugly relationship of infidelity and abuse. I was alone though surrounded by many. I tried to keep a smile on my face though I was broken inside. I could not share my feelings as no one would understand.

I could not understand myself either. I did not know what was going on in my brain. I could not understand why I was feeling the way I was. I was suffering inside and no one knew because I did not want them to know. I was ashamed and confused.

I tried to take my life by taking a bottle of sleeping pills. I remember coming in and out in the icu. Strapped onto the bed with a tube down my throat. I wanted to go and I asked God to take me. I was scared. I called
For papa and could not see him. I told God I was sorry. God brought me back. I woke up a few days later.

Many people judge us. We have a disease in our brain and people think that this is something that is all made up that if we just learn to relax it will go away. It will not. Till today I deal with the imbalance in my brain. I have learned to balance my life by staying away from what triggers these feelings.

I know what Anton went through and I know that he loves God and he is with His maker. God knows what Anton went through as He is a powerful forgiving God.

For those who are ignorant and judgmental, I pray that they do not experience what we have and if they do, may they have faith in God knowing that everyone will suffer and fight their battles in their own capacity. We are not weak. We are not failures. We are loving people who are just like everyone else but we are struck with a disease that no one can understand unless they are in it.

I have volunteered with the youth group at our church. You will be surprised how many people are going through this and do not know it. I have never shared this with my family before but I felt it was time to open up in the hopes the the ignorant will be educated and the victims will not be judged. It has been 15 years since I was professionally diagnosed but I know that I have experienced this through my teenage years.

I am here to answer any questions. I can only share my experience and how I continue to cope with this situation.

Carla Gomez-Pryor
cpryor@socalrr.com

 

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2 Responses to Depression Survivor: A Letter to Anton’s Mother

  1. Cherry Osmena Schmidt says:

    Dearest Carla,

    Thank you for your bravery and courage in sharing your story about depression. I felt so bad when I read what you went through but was happy to know that you survived your attempt. Your life on earth is not done and there is much to do. We are honored that you chose to share your story here on Anton’s website and have even offered to take questions by email. By spreading the word that depression is an illness, you may be able to guide some troubled souls to seek help and intervention. Depression kills. We hope our website becomes a resource site that will prevent another senseless death.

    love and thanks,
    Cherry

  2. Linda Rogers says:

    Dear Cherry, thank you for sending me the link to this website. I have a friend I worked with, a social worker, who is currently suffering from severe depression. Also, depression runs in my family..my brother was diagnosed with major depressive disorder..and my other brother is struggling with depression. It is a serious problem world wide and hopefully your web page will open the door to more understanding and open dialogue about this illness. My prayers are with you and your family. Thanks for all you’re doing to help others understand this heartbreaking illness. Linda

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